Um, hi.

Well, I always feel silly coming back to my blog after a long absence. And this has been the longest one yet. So . . . sorry about that, you guys. And I always feel like I owe everybody an explanation, or at least a synopsis of my life up until this point. I'll just get those two out of the way, shall I?

First, the reason I haven't posted in a while: honestly, I forgot about this blog for the most part. Writing is not as big a part of my life as it used to be--in fact, for a while now, the only thing I write is the occasional fiction and essays for school. It took me a while to adjust to this change, but here's why I think it changed: for a long time, writing was the only way for me to express how I felt. It was an outlet, and a very good one, but over the past few years, I've finally learned how to actually talk to people, instead of keeping everything to myself. And believe me, it was not an easy lesson to learn. Therapy helped with that. And with a lot of other things. But that's neither here nor there.

Actually, wait. I do want to talk about that a little bit. I know there is still a big stigma against mental illness and therapy and all of that (spoken with the derision that is typical when dealing with this subject). But I'm tired of pretending that I'm absolutely perfect and completely confident and totally whole. I have my moments, you guys, where I feel like that. But those are few and far between. Therapy, for me, has been a life-saver, as has been some medication. And you know what? I'm not ashamed of it. At all. If I had diabetes (like my little brother, Mckay), no one would begrudge me my medicine and even some therapy sessions. But because I'm sick in a different way? Well, that's often treated with hesitancy and condescension. Even as I write this, I'm nervous that friends or potential employers or whoever is going to see this and that it's going to impact me in a negative way. But I guess I'm just tired of hiding who I am--I want to show people my good and my bad parts, and I hope they'll accept all of me.

I'm not out to change the world, here, but I'm definitely not going to hide anymore.

That feels good to say.

The point, I guess, is that I struggle. I don't just lie down and take it. I don't give up and hide. I struggle, and it's hard. But I have hope that one day, it's going to be worth it.

Anyway, that's the reason I've been missing for so long. I've been . . . recovering, I guess. And that's part of the reason I'd like to start writing here again. Writing has always been a great bookmark for my life--it's like a place-marker that let's me see where I'm going and where I've been.

So, here's to more blog posts in the future, and here's to a future that's better than what I've had so far. I'm feeling hopeful, guys, and frankly, that's all I ask for.